


Inside Patrick's head

by msarahv



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23493664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msarahv/pseuds/msarahv
Summary: Patrick gets engaged to Rachel but he can't help feel that things aren't right. Throwing his old life away, he starts over at a little town called Schitt's creek.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 22
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just binge-watched Schitt's Creek and it's a revelation! I LOVE this series. It's heartfelt and subtly funny and everyone acts perfectly. Of course, Patrick and David are my new OTP because their love stories is fantastic.  
> So, I fell the creative urge dig itself out of its grave and I felt like writing what Patrick must have gone through when meeting David and falling for him. I'm not sure how long in the story I'll go, but here's a start.  
> No concrit, thanks.

He put down his beer with a sigh. All around them, the bar hummed, filled with strangers, but also his family and his friends. His cousin John, for instance, who was regaling the waitress with tales of his recent promotion, was a dork and Patrick could still remember them playing hide-and-seek with him in his parent's kitchen. Or John's bigger brother, now married with two kids, who had replaced his only-child need for a bigger brother, had been so happy about the news, talking about the bachelor party with stars in his eyes. Patrick had vetoed the striptease girl idea right from the start. No need for any of that. 

He sighed again. Rachel was there, looking radiant like she should be. It had been a very classic proposal though, a candlelit dinner at the restaurant, a very reasonably-sized ring with no diamonds on top. They had to think of the future, after all, no need for extravagance. That was for the very rich and he didn't envy them. Everything he had earned in life had been through determination.

Well, maybe not Rachel. It hadn't been a smooth ride and it was hard to pinpoint the why. Maybe the need to go look elsewhere, after High School, to be certain that they weren't settling. Or maybe, one of their many fights, that ended with him angry at himself and wondering if all this was worth spending all this energy on. Of course, sex was great, but once you grew up, it became just one of those things in life. Good. Well, satisfying, like scratching an itch. The other girls he had been with had been the same...

He had to stop thinking like that. His life was just beginning and it looked great.

He excused himself and walked to the unisex bathroom. He sat on the closed toilet seat and fought back the tears. That wasn't him. No place for doubts in his head.

But he had them. Weren't you supposed to get cold feet a lot later?

He glanced down at a magazine, open on the stool next to him. Filled with models, looking too thin to be healthy, wearing designer clothing that must cost more than his parent's house. The male model didn't look much better, wearing stuff that looked like it was made with curtains cut in ribbons. Of course, the guy still looked amazing, in a way Patrick could never dream of looking like. He had very blue eyes. 

He snapped the magazine shut.

He came back to the table, determined to make things work. After all, life was what you made of it.

* * *

"It's alright, Patrick, those things happen. It's better that you realize it now than after."  
His mother was kind but she didn't realize. His life had fallen apart. His friends were distant, siding with Rachel and smiling tightly when they met him in the street. His cousin were nice and talked to him a lot, but he could feel they were disappointed. Even at work, it was hard. His boss was Rachel's father and things were not going well at all.

He needed a change. A real one. Because he was suffocating and drowning, and he had lost everything. His apartment, where Rachel still lived on her own. The deposit on the wedding stuffs. His social life, his certainties. It was all his fault. He had to start over.

He fled. Without a second thought. He drove his battered car as far as he could, until he saw a sign. It was a very, very stupid sign but it made him smile. And he liked the motto : "Where everyone fits in."   
At this point in his life, he didn't really know who he was anymore, so this was where he would belong. For the time being.

He loved the green everywhere. He had grown up in a small town, but this was even smaller, an aggregation of farms in a semblance of community, a lack of taste that was refreshing. He wandered around, looking for an apartment to let, one not expensive at all, because he didn't have a job yet, and maybe all of this was a bad idea. There were no businesses around, and he wasn't cut out for farm work. Still, it didn't hurt to ask.

He was wrong, there was a business in town. One. The guy was a joke but he greeted Patrick with open arms. He did everything the service industry could offer, from real estate to travel agency, with as much fake sincerity one could ever witness. Patrick liked him for the change in society he provided. 

A paper fell from the binder the man was carrying. Patrick bent down to pick it and noticed a blatant error. He voiced it to Ray, who looked like he had found the Holy Grail. Turned out, there was one area he was lacking skills in and that was clerical. After an hour, Patrick had a new job. After two hours, he had an offer to sleep in Ray's guest room, and things went from there, not perfect, and nothing like his old life, but freeing.

He was good at his job, no-nonsense and efficient as ever. His office was in a living-room turned photo studio, but it was enough and the people coming were simple and welcoming. It was like they made up for the spareness with being nice to all. He liked going on hikes and talking to people on the street, that was all his heart could manage with at the moment.

He was sad, a few days later, when Ray told him the General store was closing. That was the start. The town was slowly dying. He wondered how long it would take before he needed to find a new one. 

The town council gave him his answer. There was chat on someone taking over the store. He was pointed to a very strange woman, a Mrs Rose, whose son was named David, and he wondered where she lived. Maybe in one of the bigger farm, turned into a well-decorated house. There was clearly more money there than for the rest of the townspeople. 

So, he pictured David as a well-off, nicely dressed man and wondered if he played baseball. After all, there was a sport field and it might not be there just for the kids. He resolved to ask around.

That night, he went out for the first time, finding a bar with a lot of noises and little room for conversation. One of the waitresses gave him her phone number, but he lost it before he reached his car. Oh, well, it didn't matter much.

* * *

The next day, someone came to Ray's house. It was an experience.

He handed Patrick one of the waiting tickets Ray stubbornly used and introduced himself as David.

  
"David Rose, you bought the General Store!" This was just a guess but it made sense. Although David was wildly different from the mental image Patrick had of him. He was taller, bulkier and wore dark from head to toe. As they shook hands, Patrick felt large rings and stifled a laugh. For some reason, he remembered the magazine spread with the model. The guy did not have the same delicate features but he was handsome. His skin was very soft.

He was right about him being cultured, though. He used pretentious words, like "oscillate"', and talked like one of these fashion designer you sometimes saw on TV. His mannerism screamed gay and comfortable with it, which was a first for Patrick.

He seemed incapable of normal speech and that was so adorable, Patrick could not help smiling. Especially when his sporting metaphors, that he used without thinking, fell flat over and over. The man was a unicorn. It was fascinating.

Yet, he felt more at ease than he had done with the other town folks, and only realized he had let his sarcastic side show up when David said, with a bitter accent in his voice:  
"You're either very impatient or very sure of yourself."  
This was so spot on, he felt challenged, but in a good way. This looked like a project. Instead of letting the man fail as he was destined to, Patrick handed him one of his brand new business cards. David refused his help, but Patrick was certain their path would cross again. He looked at him leave the room, head held up high, hand flailing around, and then fell on his desk laughing. 


	2. Chapter 2

He woke up smiling.

It had been a long time since he had and he vaguely wondered why, in the scarce moments of silence his landlord allowed at the breakfast table. It was like living with a machine gun, you waited for the recharging moments to try to duck out.

The night before, he had been dragged to a relative of Ray's birthday party in a nearby town and it had been better than he had expected. The family was overtly welcoming and forceful when it came to eating more than he should, but they were not silly in the least. He wondered briefly if that was why Ray was living here, if he had self-exiled like Patrick had, because he didn't fit in. If that was the case, Ray never mentioned it, even though he talked endlessly.

That only ended when Patrick took his business phone in hand and saw a lot of voicemail notifications. He managed to shush Ray long enough to listen to the first one until he let out a shriek of laughter. He stopped, gathered himself and listened on.

“Hi David, it's Patrick...”, the voice was undulating, as if the person was on a roller-coaster, then settle down to a quasi-normal business tone. The 'Ciao' at the end was not and he chuckled softly. He was about to call back when another voicemail started and he lost it. This time, it was quite clear that David (“That's not your name” he had felt the need to point out) was... on something. Alcohol or more likely pot. It was hilarious and yet, David was more coherent about his business project that he had been the day before, which was not a high bar.

After having listened two or three times, with pauses to allow him to breathe, he resolved to note down any relevant information and put the speakerphone on.

It was actually a great idea. Behind the pretentiousness, David seemed to know what he was doing. Patrick had gathered enough information from Ray to know that the Roses were an über-wealthy family, fallen on hard time and that their fortune had been built on video stores. He had looked them up and one of the branches rang a bell. He had worked at one of these in High School with one of his cousins.

So, they were not just socialites, at least someone in their midst had solid business sense. And David seemed to have inherited a tiny part of it. He would still need help of course. Patrick was there for that.

* * *

When David finally showed up, he looked mortified. Patrick wanted to be kind but he could not help it. He had to tease, it was as if he could not help himself. He was at heart a sarcastic being, he knew that, but until now, he had always managed to keep it from affecting his work.

The thing was, David reacted so beautifully to his teasing, it was too tempting. He finally gave him the filled form and David left, looking affronted and grateful at the same time.

It was endearing.

The next weekend, he felt restless. He went for a walk, went for a hike, tapped on every surface he encountered.

He was bursting with he didn't know what. This past week hadn't been stressful. In fact, nothing of notice had happened.

Expect for David Rose, of course.

He kept picturing him, looking utterly... not ridiculous, per say, more like... different. It was hard to understand him and Patrick wished he knew him a little better to understand what his deal was, exactly. Underneath all the embarrassment and pretentiousness, he could feel a level of intelligence that was quite rare in the area and he liked that.

He felt a pang of homesickness. He missed the easy banter he had with friends, the good moments with Rachel... But now that he had quit his previous job, he could not afford to go back just yet and for what, anyway. There was a reason he left. He was missing a past life that could not be resuscitated. Expect of course if Rachel and him...

He felt his whole body coil. No, he couldn't. Not anymore. Why he had so strong a reaction, he could not tell. Rachel was familiar and they had been on and off for years, playing games... He sighed. He had hated that. He was done with games. It was time to be on his own, take care of himself and not look for romance.

The next week went by, boring to the chore. He tried going out to the town “cafe” but the food was really not any better than what Ray or himself could come up with.

One morning he got the business license for “Rose Apothecary” in the mail. He took it out of the envelope and put it on his desk, wondering if he should mail it to David, or bring it to him directly. Maybe a phone call...

He was curious, that was it. He would stop by, with the paper. But said paper looked too flat. He wanted to make it better so he took his car to the next town and found a nice frame. Yes, it looked good.

He would go there the next day. It wasn't like he had anything else to do.


	3. Chapter 3

As he approached the store front, he had to stop for a minute. Strangely, his heart was beating fast, as it did when he went hiking. He had not slept well the night before, it was true, so maybe he was just tired. He looked through the glass windows and it took his breath away. The wall were painted bright and, while he could not see the interior well, except that there seemed to be a sea of boxes all around, it looked ten times more beautiful than the store had ever looked. If David was the architect of all those changes, he was incredibly talented.

He steadied himself, then pushed the door, exclaiming :

“Wow, things are really coming together in here.” to a young woman who was busying herself with beauty products. She was impeccably and elegantly dressed and you could tell right away that her appearance was very important to her.

She introduced herself in a self-important way that reminded him of David, who was, apparently, her brother. She immediately started to flirt, aggressively and with a confidence that left little room for him but to politely deflate her maneuvers, again and again. She went as far as tie a scarf around his neck, way too tightly and he wondered how he was going to get out of this attack without being anything else than gentlemanly, when he heard a now very familiar voice.

David looked calmer and self-assured than the last time they had met, maybe because he was on his turf, or maybe because he had adopted a working persona. Patrick couldn't tell if he preferred it that way. Now that he knew both siblings, he noticed that they shared another quality that was quite charming: they were both very innocent. Not in age, nor in the sexual sense, but rather because they didn't filter much. They were who they were and asked you to take it or leave it.

He had a disappointing proof of that a moment later when the framed license was met with a guarded reception that led him to lie and say they all came framed. David immediately reversed back to being blunt and while Patrick felt a little hurt, he liked it better when they related to each other in a friendlier way.

Plus, it meant he was saved from the threat of a perfumed offensive on himself by Alexis, who seemed determined to win him over. Looking around, he noticed the amount of merchandises David had already bought and his business training kicked in. He was lecturing, with Alexis following suite, like a little child, but David was a good adversary. He knew his stuff, even though Patrick was not certain he had both or even one foot on the ground. Another facet to appreciate. Patrick was finished with his business but didn't want to leave.

So, he proposed his help. Alexis immediately tried to manipulate him to do hard work and he was starting to make things straight when David thanked him in such a nice way, he obeyed. After all, it gave him a good reason to stay longer.

* * *

When he was back at Ray's, he started thinking hard. David was going to crash into a wall if he didn't have more money behind. Patrick felt it was his duty to help, so he dove right into research.

He came back from air around midnight, having found grants that would allow David's business to breathe easier and having come up with a plan for himself. He could work for David. This would be a much better job than what he had now as well as much better society. The sense of calm this decision brought him was proof enough that this was what he had to do. Now, he had to go to bed so that the next day he could go win his client over.

He didn't sleep much better that night and he was a nervous mess when he went to see David, but he didn't let this stop him. That was how you won at life after all. And it was for both their own goods, professionally speaking.

David was hesitant and guarded but Patrick was determined. He had no control over his voice level for some reason but David did not seem to mind and in the end, the look of admiration he got for his trouble was worth all the hard work.

He decided to take a leaf from the Rose's book and be more genuine. He confessed to choosing the frame and was again startled by David not being mortified or remotely polite, just ultra-confident in his superior taste. It was true anyway, Patrick was a number's guy and art was never his forte. He hoped David could overcome that so that they could be friends. Or on as friendly terms business partners could be. He left the store content and hopeful for the future.

After all of that, he finally, finally, slept wonderfully well.


	4. Chapter 4

A few days later, he was utterly regretting his decision.

It was not because working alongside David was bad. He was still this bird of paradise with almost no common sense and very stubborn opinions and that was still fine with Patrick. In fact, it allowed him to tease and gently mock, which was something he hadn't had occasions for since he had left his hometown.

Nor was it because of the long hours, the hard work he was the only one performing. It was his own fault really. One look from David's eyes and he was ready to move mountains.

And that, that was the problem. His heart was betraying him. His body too, in a way he didn't understand. Patrick had always thought of himself as a composed person. It was his strength, even if it made his life less colorful.

Like that morning. He was unboxing new product David had designed, and jokingly remarked that “Body Milk” could lead people to think it was a drink and find out they were wrong the hard way. David answered that anyone “with a fiber of common sense” would know what it was really for and Patrick suddenly found himself incapable of talking further. It was as if his brain was too full to think and what it was too full with, was the number of smiles David had thrown his way.

He had to catch a random box and flee to the backroom. There he focused on his breathing, sat on the cold floor and assessed his many feelings.

First, his heart was beating fast. Second, adrenaline was coursing through his body. So he must be afraid.

But underneath that, something else was happening. He was aroused. He knew the feeling, of course, but normally, it took a lot to get him there. Like touching another body and thinking about how good it would feel and all that mental journey he had to take.

Yet here he was, like a teenager, but this time with a specific person in mind and that person was another male.

It was a shock. But it wasn't really. Who was he kidding? Himself apparently, because deep down he had known all along. He could remember instances, flashes, when something in him had responded weirdly, and he had always discounted it.

Like the DVD covers at the Rose Video he was putting on shelves. There were a few gay ones and it had made him react a little. But that had not registered entirely.

And every time he felt envious and a little angry at a guy for being effortlessly attractive. Even though he was reasonably successful with girls, it had never felt enough. He had though the problem was with him.

Well it kind of was...

He put on a fake smile and came back, talking shop and business and anything really, when inside, he was a bag of nerves. He had to learn how to cope with that, because, now, suddenly, he understood what had drawn him to David and it was a lot to take in.

* * *

The next day, he met Stevie.

She was David's best friend, he learned later, but the first thing he noticed was that she looked funny and easy to talk to. They immediately connected as sarcasm champions with David as their target. It was a great way to forget how nervous he felt seeing him again, even though he was at the other side of the store. He had spent the evening before thinking and dreaming and hoping and now his heart was a little too full. That's why he couldn't help himself offering his room when he learned that David's sister had lice. He was convinced he was doing that because he liked David a lot and wanted to help him, but a treacherous little voice was whispering that this could help along with getting a little bit more... intimate. Not in a... not like... It was really hard to face some of this new thoughts, but basically, he wanted to get to know David better and even though he was denied that possibility immediately (apparently Stevie was already housing David), it remained in his mind as something he should be working on.

The store was almost ready for opening and they started talking about it. He was quite excited at the prospect. Working for Ray had been like an afterthought, but this store was more serious. He was planning long term in this very town he still barely knew. He had started making friends, of course, and he was liking the place more and more, but also, he was discovering a part of himself that was very important and that he was not sure he could have done so in his home town. Just the thought of talking about it with his parents was making his stomach hurt. But here... Here he could think clearly and if things didn't work out, well, he was only employed by David, they could dissolve their partnership easily enough. He hoped they wouldn't get to that, because David looked more and more handsome every day, to the point where Patrick could hardly think.

So, maybe he wanted to impress him. He may have spent a night on Youtube to learn how to wire light bulbs because David always forgot to call the electrician and instead of making Patrick feel impatient, it made him feel a little protective.

He also tried to ask him out, but saying it aloud was too much. He felt like he was back in High School, looking at a crush from afar. It wasn't even something he had experienced but the effect David had on him was a little frightening, and yet very interesting.

Finally, the store was launched. It was supposed to be a quiet affair, but nothing was in Schitt's Creek, and soon they were swamped. Patrick was in his element, cashing people, being attentive and smiling and if he glanced at David a few times, it was all right, because David smiled so softly at him. It was enough reward to keep him going to the end of the event. He took the stack of receipt and sighed, then looked for the first one. This was a milestone and he knew what he wanted to do with it.

That night, they congratulated each other and Patrick felt brave enough to go for a hug. It was a normal thing to do in these circumstances and it would also mean he would get to feel David's body.

It was so good.

He couldn't tell if the hug was lasting too long or if time had slowed down, but David's hands were caressing his back and he was trembling inside. He was trying to gather the courage to say something a little more tender, when the lights went out. This took him out of the moment and he let it go.

He still went home on cloud nine. David looked happy and their relationship was easy and familiar. There was a lot of space for hope and if things didn't go very fast, it was also a good thing, because feeling a man's chest against him had almost finished him off. But in a good way.


	5. Chapter 5

The next weeks were very busy. Patrick was planning a date. Over and over.

It was perfectly done and totally useless because. He. Could. Not. Ask. David. Out. He had tried so many times and always ended up saying something snarky or boring or anything else. The idea of maybe kissing him was so overwhelming it almost hurt. He had to invent runs to the cafe to get tea and coffee so that he could get a breather before confronting David's eyes again.

On Sundays, he went on hikes to tire his feelings away, but it barely worked. He kept replaying conversations in his heads, wondering if he was reading too much into it, if there was any chance that his feelings were returned. He felt weak and unsure and he hated it, it was not who he was.

But then, he would reach the top of the mountain he was climbing, look at the beautiful view and feel a little bit better. From up here, things felt manageable, hopeful even. David hadn't talked about dating anyone and Stevie had alluded at her friend being lonely with a tone that felt intentional. He had never dare ask further.

Then he would go back to this room in someone else's home, and he contemplated leaving the town. But the thought of not seeing David ever again was even worse than his feelings and frustration.

So the next day, he would walk toward the shop, determined, ready to finally act. But there seemed to be a switch in his head that shut his brain down due to an emotional short-circuit.

* * *

All that tension was building up like a storm in his head when one morning, he saw David in a new light. He was now used to his flare-ups and dramatizations of anything remotely annoying, but this time, he mostly looked vulnerable. A shiver ran all through Patrick at the thought of an unknown relationship having happened that he would not have been aware of, but as the day went on, it seemed unfounded.

He still didn't like seeing David like that and finally asked if everything was okay. At first David deflected, but then he opened up, which was such a new, pleasurable experience that Patrick started rambling. He started talking about his parents, his childhood, his cousins, happy to share himself with David, until he caught himself. He was making things worse, because apparently, David's own family had forgotten his birthday.

It felt strange that a man Patrick's age was perturbed by this. It must mean that up until then, they hadn't. Although, given how rich they had been, maybe it was a secretary who reminded them and planned celebrations. That felt cold and Patrick's solicitude was growing fast, which was good because this was giving him his power back. He wanted to ask David out but he also wanted to protect him from the hurt and that finally broke the pattern. He heard his own voice, wavering at first, then more confident, wishing him a happy birthday and even asking if he had plans...

David's answer was humorous in a dark way that strengthened his decision. This was it.

“Have you tried the cafe tropical? I've heard people raving about how moderately edible the food is there.”

And he jumped from the bridge. This was it. No coming back from this. After this moment, he was officially gay.

“We could... We could go for a birthday dinner?” His heart was beating against his chest but he managed to keep calm, even when David politely declined.

He was too far gone now to let it go, so he insisted, as sincerely as he could.

And David said yes. Well, he said sure, but that didn't matter. Patrick felt jittery and happy. He noticed that he had been spraying the vegetable display so much that it was now all wet. Given his excitement, it could have been much worse. He wanted to shout. Instead, he started planning again.

All the previous preparations had not been in vain. He already had a gift, framed and wrapped. It wasn't a birthday gift and yet, it was perfect. He also knew what he wanted to wear, although that one was more of a gamble. David had a very refined taste and wore expensive clothing himself at all time, as a vestige to his previous wealth. But Patrick was done with conforming to expectations and if things were to work out with David (this time he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears), he wanted it to be with who Patrick really was.

He ran home, the moment he could, and broke a record for the time he had ever spent in the bathroom. He had to stop his progress regularly to clap his hands or punch the mirror, and styled his hair five different ways, but was still ready half an hour early.

He took a big breath and walked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Up until then, things were going well. The fact that David hadn't arrived yet might be the reason, but, still, Patrick felt confident.

That wonderful feeling continued when David came in the cafe, only slightly tainted by an overwhelming sensation he was quite familiar with now. It almost went away when, in the midst of easy banter, David very sincerely told him he looked very nice. He managed to give a humorous answer but kept wondering what it meant or if David was just being nice.

He certainly looked happier than he had earlier, which was a first victory. He liked making David smile so much, it was an addiction.

So, first things first, food. Having spent as much time as he had with David, he knew he wasn't one of these rich people who despised food. So he felt comfortable proposing something deep fried and full of delicious fat that they could share.

He was busy laughing at David's witty response when a voice broke in concentration:

“Sorry I'm late. Is everybody here or are more people coming?”

Time slowed down.

He realized in that very moment that he had not felt heartbreak up until now, even when he had ended his engagement. He hated every millisecond of it. He hated his heart and his brain and his stupidity, because, of course, David hadn't agreed to a date. Why would he? He was so out of Patrick's league and he had dared dream for a second...

He went on autopilot to greet Stevie, hoping to be polite but certain he was failing at pointing out she was not really welcomed, answered a little curtly at David's self-depreciation and went spiraling. He finally made a tremendous effort to make it seem that he was not crumbling inside, before fleeing to the restroom.

There he sighed. Then he swore. Not loudly, but deeply. If his mother had heard him she would have turn red with embarrassment. It was better than letting the tears he could feel on the edge of his vision fall and make his humiliation complete. He was not angry at anyone than himself and what was also horribly frustrating was that he, in no way, shape or form, could now deny he was very very gay. No woman had ever made him feel like a little child, lost and sad, helpless, like this man had.

He closed his hands in fists, looked right at the restroom mirror and started coaching himself. He would get through the evening. He was stronger than all that. David deserved a nice celebration from his friends and he should be honored to belong in that circle.

He came back with a softened, bruised soul but a collected exterior and was quite surprised to see the bag he had put David's gift in on the table in full view. David's explanation was weird but what made matters worse was Stevie's excitement about opening it right now. This was not a friendly gift. It was more intimate and now his heart was going to be exposed publicly.

He kept saying it was nothing, knowing how disappointed David would be, since he didn't share his feelings after all, not even a little bit but when the frame was in his crush's hand, and he had to explain to his best friend what it was, he didn't fight anymore. This was an offering. He felt naked and defenseless and that he gave to David, to do with it what he wanted.

David's answer was soft. So were his eyes. Whether he was still oblivious of the nature of the gesture, Patrick couldn't say, nor care.

And then, things changed fast, the waitress brought the food, Stevie suddenly left them in a way that showed that she had read the room much better than David and Patrick was grateful to her for showing uncharacteristic compassion and not let himself be humiliated in front of her anymore.

They ate their mozzarella stick in a lighter setting, talking about the store and David's eccentric family and what his last birthday as a rich heir had been like and somehow, the “date” ended.

* * *

A particle of hope was growing in his chest. Perhaps. Maybe. He took David home, in his old batty car, with his old batty heart, and decided to go for it. He could try. He could say something romantic. He could initiate a kiss. David was dramatic but never violent, and much more considerate than people gave him credit for. He would be gentle in his rejection and that way, Patrick would not go home feeling like he had failed at life.

But he couldn't. It was too hard. So, instead he complimented the store. Sincerely. This was all they would ever share and he would cherish it. One day, he knew he would laugh at the memory of this failed night. It just felt impossible right then.

David was watching him, with the same expression he had wore all night, since he had seen the framed ticket of their first sale. Like he was seeing something, or someone, for the first time and was enthralled by it.

He was nodding and moving and Patrick realized he was being kissed when it was almost over. He was too busy becoming a brand new person, discovering feelings he never knew existed, realizing the world had spun on its axis and now he was where he needed to be.

He focused on what he was feeling the most and it was gratitude. So he thanked him. David looked a little surprised but still kind and accepting, so Patrick told him everything. He couldn't do otherwise. How he was new at this, how he had not managed to act on it, how he had wanted it.

Being that vulnerable was so hard and yet so very worth it because David was smiling and laughing softly and somehow Patrick had won. Or maybe it was David who had. He was quiet when Patrick needed him to be, and funny when things became too serious. Patrick didn't even know David had this facet to his personality. It wasn't fair. Now he had even more feelings for him. And they were accepted.

Patrick still couldn't kiss him again, so he asked if they could talk on the next day. There was so much to process, so much to revisit.

Like the way David had wished him a good night. Playful, a little sexy. Patrick was vanquished.

He loved it.


	7. Chapter 7

Patrick didn't go back to Ray's house directly. Instead, he drove a while around the country roads, trying to absorb what had just happened.

David. David kissing him. David's eyes getting softer and softer through the evening.

And his lips. They had felt different than any girl he had ever kissed. He shuddered at the memory, his breathing difficult again, his thoughts muddled. He ran a finger on his own mouth, chasing the feeling.

He finally parked his car and sneaked inside, hoping fervently that Ray wasn't still up. Talking to anyone tonight would take him out of his experience and he wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.

Later, he lay in bed, his eyes wide open, his mind reeling. Was kissing so mind-blowing for everyone or was it because his feelings were so strong already? He had proposed to Rachel, for God's sake, and she had never produced such an effect.

He turned over in his bed, too high-strung to relax and go to sleep. What was going to happen? Would it last with David? They were in business together, what if they fought? Would he have to flee again? He didn't want to, he wanted to know David much, much better. Know how his body felt...

That's when his imagination screeched to a halt. It was too much. There was so much need in him, it was frightening. He got up and took a cold shower.

In the bathroom mirror, he looked at his smiling reflection and realized that the mess of emotions he was going through pointed to happiness. He was excited, like a kid.

He tried grabbing a book to take his mind of said excitement but he could hardly focus. He read a sentenced, remembered the contrast between David's warm fingers and the coldness of his rings. Looked at a graph and thought about David's passion for his store and how he admired it. He reread the first sentence and mind flashed all the little moments where he had teased David and he had gotten all quiet instead of his sassy self and how he liked that.

So he took his phone out and tried looking at the few apps he liked using and found himself looking at a photo he had taken of his parents. This was more difficult. He understood now, more than ever why he had left them behind. He had a new life to explore and he didn't like to think about how they would react.

That was the last straw. He looked at the time. Five am. Might as well get up and go to the store. He could get himself busy there.

There, he opened all the new deliveries, entered them in the system and distributed them in the back room and on the store shelf. It was really helpful to do something so normal and connected to work, but it also meant that the moment when David would come to work was nearing and he got giddy again.

* * *

When David did step inside the store and took his sunglasses off, Patrick drew in a big breath.

He was an apparition. Patrick could not make sense of this outfit but the confidence David had in his appearance was one of the many things he liked about him.

It was awkward being in the store together though, now that their relationship had changed. David kissed his cheek but did not seem to know how to anymore. Patrick felt that his own confidence had deserted him and he didn't know if it would ever come back. The only things he had left was sincerity.

“So someone's been busy...”

“Oh, yeah... yeah, I've been up since five. Could not sleep. Been thinking about...” ... _you_ , ... _us_ , _our kiss_... He chickened out and finished lamely “...stuff, you know...”, but spit it out anyway “...last night.”

He was self-conscious to the point of not knowing how to smile or talk, but was taken out of it when David asked “Regrets?” with an air of dramatic defeat that stunned him. They were talking about the greatest night of his life so far.

So he took the time to reassure David and himself, wondering where David got that impression. Apparently he had a past filled with rejections, but maybe Patrick was a little at fault. He still hadn't been the one to initiate a kiss after all, let alone anything else. But he needed time, he knew that and David deserved most of all for Patrick to lower his defenses and speak the truth. This... thing between them felt too serious for any posturing.

So he explained himself, but David didn't seem to listen closely.

“Here's something fun, what if _I_ stay at your place tonight?” _Okayyyyyy_.... He was gobsmacked for a moment but remembered in time that David was not one for subtlety and that Patrick needed to be as explicit and precise as possible.

Right now, he was feeling very inadequate, having just been reminded that David had had more partners, more male partners, than he had (in the cases of the males, zero) which made him very vulnerable and that wasn't how he wanted his first night with David to be.

He had no idea if David and him were on the same page at that point, the conversation was going in all direction and Patrick was feeling more and more anxious when he was saved by the store's bell and the apparition of David's mother. He found an excuse to go in the back to regroup and asked for a rain check so as not to worry David.

But when he came back, he realizes that Moira Rose was not there just for a quick chat and that she needed to be alone with her son. Patrick decided to pick up the hint and left for the cafe a few seconds later, not really understanding her requests but willing to provide David and his family anything they needed or wanted.

God, he had it hard.

Twyla was quietly wiping glasses at the counter and took his order right away. At least David's order was easy. Well, not really but he knew it by heart at that point. Luckily Stevie wasn't there to point it out, although Patrick wouldn't have minded talking with someone who had known David a little longer than he had.

He took a breath and walked back to the store, surprising them and he had to leave them alone again. He tried busying himself like earlier in the morning, but they weren't whispering anymore and he finally understood what was going on. He now got exactly where David's tendency to dramatize everything came from and he was also reminded that, although they were around the same age (he still had not gotten a number but he was still sure of that), David was completely dependent of his parents.

It would have been ill-suited of him to judge him for that. His life wasn't much more in order and he had come back to his parent's place for moral support a few months ago.

So he scooped in and saved the day. He always liked that role better and Moira's slightly inept gratitude helped, even if she basically stole one of their products. But he was careful not to settle in the savior routine too much. He knew he liked to take charge, it was his comfort zone. They still hadn't cleared the air, though and it was important to do so.

Mrs Rose left with an airy remark about him that showed that she knew David and him were... more than business partners. So, did that mean that they were so close that they shared every information about David's romance? He had to ask and smiled at David's answer. Okay, his sister, that was a little better and kind of flattering.

Plus David had listened and understood everything about Patrick's need for things to go slow and he was so keen and blubbering that Patrick took pity on him and decided to switch the conversation to something softer. Talking about potential sex was getting more and more difficult so, he focused on his feelings as he was finally able to comprehend them himself:

“You know, when you kissed me, that felt like my first time. All the things you're supposed to feel, I felt them, last night.”

David had his half-smile on he only seemed to reserve for Patrick and opened up too. Things went back to normal and Patrick finally felt confident again, enough to tease David, hold him in his arms and kiss him.

He felt very virile in that moment.


	8. Chapter 8

The next weeks were uneventful. But to Patrick, they were filled to the brim with new sensations and emotions. The first great part of the day was seeing David entering the store, all prettied up and yet looking a little shy, until he saw Patrick's reaction and then smiled brightly. It was still strange to see him wearing these fancy sweaters but Patrick liked them a lot because they defined David, made him stand out.

Then, they kissed hello and it became less and less awkward. It was just a thing they did and Patrick loved it.

He used the early hours to prepare a new tease about David being late and rehearsed it finely to get the exact reaction he wanted from him. He had to get better and better at it because David was intelligent and caught up quickly but he had enough endearing weaknesses for Patrick to enjoy himself tremendously. Sometimes Stevie helped but she tended to go too far and he kept reading David's expression to spot when damage control was necessary.

Then David would putter around the shop and welcome the occasional morning customer, brushing against Patrick on purpose and then smirking. That's when the power dynamic changed. At lunch time, Patrick could not help reaching for David's hand and haul him to the back, to make out. Sometimes they almost forgot to eat. They never did, because he soon discovered how much food was important to David. He liked it. David would steal his fries, beg for dessert and his eyes lit up when the plate was put in front of him exactly like they did when he looked at Patrick. He was almost jealous.

The afternoon were either spent apart, as David had to go meet with vendors, or busy with the store. He had a lot of work to do, both his and what David didn't feel like doing. Nagging him took a lot of energy and brought very few results but he tried. It killed the romance a little but it was their livelihood. Plus, there was no way he was letting David's dream fall to the ground. He had started sharing more and more stories about his wealthy past and his galleries and Patrick could see how he missed it. He guessed he wouldn't even had blipped on David's radar if he had remained that obscenely rich and yet he was sympathetic. His own life had been wiped out, he still hadn't even visited his parents, because... well, it was still complicated.

And then, they closed the store and walked outside, looked at each other and smiled. It was date time. They didn't have a lot of options, given that they still had to be very careful with money but they could be creative. They looked at the stars, went to the movie, ate whatever delicious dish Ray came up with, along with his incessant chatter.

They even went to a bar. He recognize the waitress who had given him her number and smiled apologetically. She saw David's arm around his waist and chuckled.

Sometimes, they sat in his car and kissed in the back seat. Patrick's hand were curious but still unsure. So, they stopped after a while and just talked. It was heavenly. Patrick had been brought up in a loving family, but following strict gender norms. Women confided in each other but men were not given many emotional tools. David had spent as little time as possible with his parents and had dedicated his life to the superficial until very recently so they both were new to opening up about their feelings.

But it was important. David was. So Patrick said all the things he didn't say to Rachel. And maybe that was another reason they kept breaking up. He had barely thought about her, mind filled with David, when she started texting him again. He didn't like it and tried to be as gentle as possible so as not to hurt her feeling, which meant that it was difficult to make her understand he had moved on so much so that it would never happen. He hoped she would understand on her own.

Some evenings, they parted quickly. It was necessary to spend a little time apart, to keep the relationship healthy. He had finally found out about baseball teams and started a weekly practice. David had no interest in it whatsoever and did not try to pretend he did. It was easy dealing with him, he was so honest, even though he could be hurtful without realizing it. But it was mostly aimed at his sister.

On his times alone, he sometimes spotted attractive guys and let his eyes roam over their figure. He wasn't interested, not like he was in David, but it was so comfortable to allow himself to recognize and allow himself those kind of feelings. It also helped make the difference between being envious of a guy's good looks and being attracted to them. He still had a long road to go.

He also read a lot and discovered David liked that too, so they could sit next to each other for a few hours and just be quiet. This was so nice, he started to go to the second-hand bookstore in Elmsdale to see if he could find stuff David would like. He offered him one one night and casually referred to the fact that they had been dating for a month now. David acted like he had done it on purpose and expressed his views on monthaversaries that had Patrick decide to give him a present every month from now on just to mess with him. If it was also a way for him to celebrate the fact that he had found meaning in life for the first time, he could keep that for himself at the moment.


	9. Chapter 9

Another thing Patrick loved about his new life in Schitt's Creek was the fact that he had managed to strike up a really good friendship with Stevie.

Which meant it was a shock when she casually told him about her past feelings for David. That was a lot of information to process and then, she explained that they had had a thing and Patrick's mind was blank for a minute. When he came to, he pretended he needed a file from Ray's and fled.

Jealousy wasn't the most important emotion controlling him, even though, it did color it. What was over-consuming was the feeling of inadequacy. He and David hadn't done anything sexual yet and here was someone who had. And been found wanting. She also was a woman, which raised so many questions. Had David been closeted when he was first in town? Was Stevie the equivalent to his Rachel? Yet, David had talked about male exes from when he was way younger.

This wasn't helping in dealing with the lust David incited in him every single day. He was a serious guy when it came to intimacy and he wanted their first time to be meaningful but he was also discovering actual attraction and it was a lot to handle.

So he came up with a plan of action. First he would find out about David's specific sexuality, then he would talk things out with Stevie until he had gotten over this hurdle, and then he would have to confront his shortcomings. It felt like a very hard task and he thought about avoiding all of it, for a tiny second, give up and go back to the familiar and comfortable. But the hurt at the idea of losing David was even harsher. He was already struggling with telling his family and friends about his true self, he couldn't do that to such an important person in his life.

David looked merely surprised that the subject hadn't been addressed already and explained his orientation in a way that was both easy and mind-altering. You could like different genders? There were more than two? David might have led a sheltered life but so had Patrick for not knowing about all this stuff. He spent a Saturday on his computer, reading random blogs and articles, then went back on his favorite hike on the Sunday to sort it out in his mind.

Could he be pansexual too? Or at least bi? He had been with girls after all and felt pleasure. And they were all good-looking, he had noticed that.

But none of them had felt like David, not even Rachel. And since he had admitted the truth to himself, he had gotten aroused just seeing other guys, once or twice. That was new and reserved for men.

He could still relive the relief at not having to force himself through the motion and let himself want what he really wanted. And what he wanted was the body of another man. So, yeah, he was gay and David wasn't. It was humbling to think that David could potentially be interested in anyone around him and he still chose to be with him. He really hoped he would prove enough.

* * *

Now to deal with the ex-turned-best-friend that was now also his friend. He hadn't dare ask but he had to. He bit the bullet and visited Stevie at the motel desk on the Sunday evening.

“Hey!”

“Hey Patrick! I kinda get the impression you've avoided me all week-end. David says you were busy?”

He sighed:

“No, I was avoiding you.”

She squinted at him but her voice remained calm.

“Oh! Okayyy... Does it have to do with me and David's past?”

“Yeah. I'm not angry or anything. I just had to... I didn't know he wasn't gay, you see. And I needed to think. You two are really close and it's great but I am all brand new in his life.”

“So am I, Patrick. Two years ago, he was Jet set. He wouldn't even have talked to me.”

It was difficult to explain what was going on in his heart. But he found the right words somehow:

“You're comfortable in your sexuality. I'm not. And if it didn't work for you two, then, is there any hope for me?”

Stevie rubbed her eyes and put both her hands on the front desk.

“Listen, Patrick, I've realized you were into David the moment I met you. You were very obvious. But then, David spent the night with me...” She raised a hand to prevent any interruption, “... because of the lice, remember? And we talked about you all night. I could see that he liked you too. And not as a friend. I don't think he's ever felt that for me. You lower his defenses, just... like that. I will be really angry at you if you break his heart, but... You're good for him.”

They hugged and parted ways.

And what was left to do, was taking the plunge.

“David?”

“Mmmm”

It was Monday morning and they were in the store. David was busy rearranging everything to his liking and didn't give him his full attention. Patrick took a deep breath:

“Would you like to watch a movie with me tonight at Rays?”

“Sure.”

“And you know, after, you could... take a shower?”

Now that got David to look at him in incomprehension. Patrick soldiered on:

“It's a very clean bathroom. Ray's very particular about that.”

“Well, that's nice but I'm used to the motel's shower so...”

“Yesss, but.”

He was trembling now. He hated being like that. But, it was so worth it.

“... it's a big shower. There's room.”

He sent him what he hoped was a smoldering look. David grinned slightly, then bit his lip.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I'm not sure we can have more privacy than that though. Sometimes Ray comes to my bedroom to tell me stuff. At any hour.”

“A shower would be nice.”

They looked at each other in silence until the bell rang and a customer walked in. He had overcome one problem, the next one would be _interruptions_.


	10. Chapter 10

If there was one thing from his old life Patrick would be missing, it would be _comfort_. The comfort of his parents living near, as well as his extended family, the comfort of a well-paying job with a certain level of security, but also mostly the comfort of privacy.

When he and Rachel had moved in together, they were on their own. With no one around to be a witness to their romance, he slowly realized how weak his feelings were. How he was faking.

Looking at David now aroused a volcano inside of him whereas with Rachel, it was barely an oven. He was so impatient to go further, it almost ached.

* * *

So, David was at his place, with Ray around and it was torture. They kissed, a lot, but anything more intimate was difficult. They exchanged forbidden gazes, brushed the other's knee “by accident”, sat on the couch as close to each other as possible to watch The Lake House. The premise of the movie was quite confusing, providing extra fuel to Ray's constant commentary. Patrick didn't listen to anything on the screen or in the room, expect for David's soft breathing. He felt his pulse in his wrist when David's arm encircled him. They were in a bubble. It got burst by Ray every five minutes.

He liked his landlord but right now, he wanted to zap him in another dimension. Coming out to him had been surprisingly easy. Ray was talking about how he had hired Ronnie to build the second bathroom and that she was dating this woman he knew in Elmsdale and Patrick had said: “Oh, she's gay like me?”, Ray had nodded and continued with his story.

Earlier today he had texted Ray to ask if he could have his date over to watch a film and Ray had texted back _What's_ _his_ _name?_ When he learned it was David, he sent many emojis and a _You have good taste_ that had Patrick raise an eyebrow. But he agreed so he let it go.

When the movie was over, Ray yawningly said he was going to bed. Patrick and David exchanged a triumphant look. With a wink, David said he was feeling all yucky and did Ray mind if he took a shower?

“Of course not! I'll show you where everything is!”

Patrick coughed and tried to send a signal. It was useless of course, Ray did not understand the concept of hinting.

“Why don't I show David?”

“Ohhh, of course! It is much better, since you two are dating!”

He clapped his hands, looking elated. Patrick wanted to disappear. He pushed David in the direction of his bedroom.

* * *

David had brought a change of clothes and put it on the bed. Patrick's legs were becoming weak as he approached the shower. His jeans were way too tight. David came behind him and corrected that problem, opening the button and unzipping him in a way that was so sexy Patrick almost came. Instead he turned and kissed him, opening his mouth wide and when David followed suite, mixed their tongues in the filthiest way he could imagine.

Somehow, they found themselves naked and walked into the shower, the spray of water loud enough that it could cover part of the whines that escaped his lips each time David's hand covered a new part of his body. He foggily realized that both hands were naked. He must had taken his rings off. That was a shame, there were a part of a fantasy that had been running in his head. The feel of cold metal on his cock...

Instead strong fingers grabbed it. Patrick almost fainted. He looked down and finally saw David's cock. This was so real. It was longer than his and thinner. It was also rock hard. He verified the fact by poking at it and was rewarded with a sigh. He felt his grin grow so wide it could split his face in two. David adjusted the water warmth and pushed Patrick against the wet tiles. He could see stars.

There were too busy discovering their bodies to really start something precise when there was a knock on the door. David swore under his breath, jumped away from Patrick and almost hit his head on the shoulder's frame.

“Yes?”

“Oh, David, I hope you found the clean towels.”

David grimaced and yelled:

“Yes, yes I did. Thank you so much!”

Patrick was struggling not to laugh. David tried to hit his arm but they were too wet.

They listened for a few seconds but Ray seemed to have left. David started a tray of kisses on Patrick's chest. He knelt in front of him and looked up, his hair flat from the shower, his lashes darker than ever. Patrick could barely do anything than nod.

It was a good thing he was already against the wall, because David was a pro. He started licking, then took in the head. Patrick wanted the moment to never stop.

“David?”

This time he swore. Luckily not loudly enough that Ray would hear he was here with David. The frustration was unbearable.

“Yes, Ray what is it?”

David wasn't hiding his anger but it was of no use. Ray was a congenial man.

“If you want a good shampoo, I can lend you mine. I bought it from your shop when you opened. It does wonder for dandruff.”

David looked murderous. Patrick was laughing so hard, he slid to the ground.

“I'm good, thanks. And I do _not_ have dandruff!”

 _You don't_ , Patrick mouthed. He was sincere but also felt that he had to keep the morale high if he wanted David to pick up where he had left.

Thankfully, he did. Patrick lost himself in the feelings. It was not his first blowjob, but it made such a difference. He didn't last long and after whispering a question, got the okay to come inside David's waiting mouth. It wasn't the best place to talk, especially with the threat of Ray's presence, but he tried to convey in his gaze all the thankfulness he felt.

He also showed it by giving a man a handjob for the first time ever. The water was barely warm, but David didn't seem to mind. He looked like a vision, his mouth open to the skies, his chest shaking. He was bigger and wide than Patrick and he loved that. He swallowed his orgasm in a kiss. This was the greatest moment in his life so far.

That was, until he heard Ray shout:

“Oh, Patrick, when you and David have finished taking your shower, can you come help me with my computer. It seems to have frozen!”


	11. Chapter 11

Having finally touched David's body had unleashed Patrick's drive. It was a strong experience because up to now, he had never felt that way. His own body knew pleasure, but not yearning. He wanted more, so much more than the heavens he had just been shown.

But David had put his foot down and Patrick couldn't blame him. Ray was... Ray. You couldn't get him to calm down his enthusiasm, nor respect their intimacy. It had been very difficult at breakfast the next day. Patrick had spent his meal looking at the table, which led him to bump into his coffee cup and burn himself. He hadn't felt bad for what he had shared with David, though. He felt whole now, a Person. It was as if a button he didn't know existed had been pushed and the world made sense. He felt more connected to it and less like he was outside looking in.

And seeing David again was the highlight of his days. He wanted, he yearned. David did too and it was fantastic, being wanted back. He had been so unsure, so close to giving up.

They kissed. All the time. They couldn't stop. Patrick took every opportunity to brush against him, feeling his belly spasm each and every time. He could hardly focus on work and it seemed that David didn't even make the effort. They should be teenagers, having times on their hands and as carefree and horny as could be. Well the horny part was well-covered, and so was the lack of autonomy as neither of them had a place of their own.

They found ways to make out. The back room of the store didn't have windows and while utterly uncomfortable, was private enough to allow caresses. Patrick's body was awakening. He got lost in feelings, both physical and emotional. Eyes closed, breathing short, he let David take the reign and show him what it was to really love.

* * *

One morning, David came to work upset. He spent the morning explaining why, while Patrick had to help with his eye-care regimen. He did so, trying to appease him, noticing that David tended to be quite self-centered, even when it came to important matters. If Alexis was pregnant, given that no-one in their family made a lot of money, her being a single mother would be really complicated. But David was concerned about how it would affect him. This was useful information to Patrick. David didn't seem to be into children.

Patrick did like kids. His cousins had some and they were great and he missed hanging out with them. But, he realized, he was becoming a little more self-centered too. He wanted to enjoy being with someone without outside responsibilities. The store was enough and cut their time together with clients popping in. Patrick had to rely on his inner strength to des-intricate himself from David's formidable attraction and help them.

Later in the day, he purposefully went to look for David in the back room and kissed him. David responded by pushing him against a shelf and mapping his neck. Patrick forgot everything including his own name, his hands opening and closing against David's biceps. He whispered “...more...” over and over until he couldn't even do that.

They were interrupted. Of freaking course. By Stevie, whom he really liked a lot, but even she was unwanted. Especially when she started screaming about hickeys. He lashed out at David and tried to hide it under his shirt but the frustration was all too much. He needed to be alone with David. He needed all of him and no barriers. He craved for intimacy.

And just like that Stevie opened her home. David was suspicious but Patrick didn't care. He could hardly think straight and after all, she was both their friends. Plus he would get to see David naked again and that visual was replacing everything else. So he overrode David's objections and accepted this wonderful gift.

He went home to change before they met at Stevie's. He rummaged around but he didn't own anything really sexy. He liked to dress comfortably and in a way that made him feel himself. On the other hand, David hadn't let that stop him and he was sexily dressed for two, three even. He felt a shiver go down his spine at the thought. David knew who he was and he liked to captivate his audience. And Patrick was captivated. Mesmerized even. His brain, normally a very efficient machine, was too busy shouting David's name and projecting images of him to let him have any respite.

In the end, he put on a simple sweater and basic jeans. After all the plan wasn't to keep his clothes on. He took a bag and prepared a few things for the night, choosing his better-looking pajamas. His night mouth guard would stay put. He also asked Ray if he owned cologne and was surprised to discover that he was presented with a very nice-smelling one.

He met David in the street, in new clothing also, looking utterly edible. Patrick felt ready. Tonight he would become a new man.


	12. Chapter 12

Apart from David, Patrick had never pined for people. Instead, things had... happened. And then fell apart because of him and his unresolved heart. So jealousy and insecurities were foreign emotions to him.

They still crashed through him when he saw a perfect stranger kiss David in front of him. They weren't seriously involved yet, and that was mostly due to him asking to go slow. But surely, David wasn't seeing someone else without telling him? In fact, both Stevie and David seemed perturbed too which shed some lights on David's strange questions from before and he did not like that one bit. And then there was a mention of a “we all” and Patrick was so shaken, he had to lean against the fridge to contain his disarray. Being invited to “join them” was such an uncharted territory, he felt he had stepped in Wonderland, where people acted in weird, weird ways.

When the man finally left with a stressed Stevie, he couldn't contain himself anymore and said:

“So, we're going to talk about this, right.”

It wasn't a question. It was a need.

It took quite a few tries to wrap his mind around the notions he was presented with. He knew of course about casual sex. He had dated a few girls outside of Rachel and it hadn't lasted long. But David's world was strange and fast. Plus, he didn't like how bothered David looked. Did he have lingering feelings for this Jake guy? Or even worse, for Stevie?

He liked Stevie a lot. Being a rival in any way was prone to ending in disaster for everyone involved.

So David explained, and explained again. It helped. Drinking whiskey helped. Being sat on a big bed next to David trying to seduce him into forgetting the scene also helped. After all, it was all straightforward, in a corkscrewy-kind-of-way. When David reversed the roles and brought up Patrick's past, it was too much. He really didn't want to tell him about Rachel. He didn't want to think about her.

The shut-up kiss became a passionate kiss, then an horizontal one. Things were looking up and Patrick felt the anger evaporate. David's focus was on him only and he seemed to have regained his confidence. He took the lead, wrapping his arms around Patrick and flipping him around, flat on the bed. Patrick's belly felt on fire.

He let the sensation engulf him. It was so strong, it was hard to say if it was because they had waited for so long or because David was a man, or because his feelings for him were so strong already. He was aroused, he wanted more and he had no idea what to do first.

David was kissing his neck, like he did so well but then Patrick's sweater and undershirt were in the way. Patrick started taking them off but David stopped him. He felt two large hands slide underneath, pushing the fabric upward. He wasn't used to being handled with such strength and that was even more arousing.

David was taking his time, which was horrible. He kissed Patrick's chest, mapping it thoroughly, then attacked his nipples. This was also new. He had done it to others but was surprised how much he liked it. His moans must have conveyed it to David. He gave the right one a big kiss, then knelt back and took his sweater off. Even in his state of reduced intelligence, Patrick knew better than to help. David's clothes were very important to him and he wouldn't risk ripping something.

The rest of their clothing was soon dealt with and, like he had done before in Ray's shower, Patrick took the time to admire his lover's cock. His penis. His male attribute. He was getting giddy again and didn't care. He laughed. David frowned.

“Is there a problem?”

Oh.

“No, no, don't worry, you look really great. I'm just... very happy.”

David's eyes softened, like they did during intimate moments and Patrick's heart felt very full. He kissed him hard because he had to. Because he wanted to. Because he could.

Both their cocks were pressed against each other, the pleasure building up. Patrick wanted it to last.

He had a question in mind and did not know how to get the answer. Should David weigh in or should he feel it himself? He had read about topping and bottoming and both sounded very nice. David was taller than him and more experienced so maybe he should top. On the other hand, Patrick like being in charge and in control of a situation, so being this passive was disturbing to consider.

Maybe he should wait. It was only their second real sexy-time. He remembered David's fantastic blow-job and knew that he wanted to try _that_.

So, he turned David's body around and started kissing his happy trail.

“Yes, yesss, Patrick...”

He took that as an invitation and gave a kiss to the cock's head. It felt weird, but nice. He took a little in his mouth, at loss at what his moves should be. He tried listening, but David was strangely silent. He looked up and saw him smiling softly. Patrick was distracted by his feelings for a second, then started sucking.

“Not as hard. You can use your tongue on the side... Yes, like that...”

He let David guide him. He wasn't good at it yet. It was okay. He could learn.

It was helpful to think about what he liked and after a while, he had found a comfortable rhythm. David was moaning more and more, music to Patrick's ears. He wanted to remember everything from that night.

Their first time.

Just like that, he felt ready. He stopped sucking, ignored David's whiny remarks to keep it up and went back up to kiss him. Their mouth were wet and full open, their tongue sliding without a hitch. Patrick indulged in it, then whispered:

“David?”

“Yes?”

“I'd like to feel you inside me.”

“You're sure? We can do it the other way...” David sounded a little shy too. Patrick liked that.

“I want to try. See how it feels. At least once.”

David smiled slowly. Then he pushed Patrick away and grabbed his bag. The lube and condoms were produced. Patrick's heart was beating really fast. If his friends knew what he was about to do, what would they think? What would his cousins?

But Patrick was done not living his own life. He surrendered to David's gentle hands. To his finger breaching him, sliding inside. He surrendered to the tender strokes David used to ease up the burning sensation. He forgot the time, his conscience dimmer and dimmer until what was left was David, him and the whole universe around.

When David pushed inside, it was painful. But it was also beautiful. Their hands were intertwined and he felt connected and loved. Then David started moving and his brain became more filthy. He shouted. David shouted back. It was mostly their names and a few encouragements, mostly yesses. It took a while for him to get over the discomfort but suddenly David's cock started hitting his prostate and he lost it entirely.

He came to his senses after they had both come, his breathing sharp and his body filled with streams of happy hormones. David disappeared in the bathroom, came back with a washcloth and took care of him.

He liked how David's chest felt against his, open and soft. There was no armor, of clothing or arms. Patrick had won his trust and in turn had received everything. The quiet was so intense they fell asleep in minutes.

* * *

They woke up in the early morning and immediately tried it again. This time it was Patrick's turn and, no matter how life-changing being penetrated had been, he discovered he liked taking David more. His muscles were put to good use, as he pushed in, again and again. Every moan was a victory, every glance was a thank you. Once again, he was certain he wasn't very good but it was _their_ shared fragile, intimate moment. He came before David and that was okay he said.

When they finally went out for breakfast, they crossed Stevie's path. She looked tired but was smiling and winked at them. Patrick grinned back and mouthed “Thank you.”

Then he treated David to the best meal the cafe could provide. David didn't stay long after but about twenty minutes later, Patrick got a text:

_My sister's not pregnant._

He had completely forgotten about that.


End file.
